Day by day with Saint Mother Theodore Guerin
When I was (allegedly) praying this morning, I found myself wondering if Mother Theodore ever woke up thinking, “I’ll try to be a saint today.”
I hope not.
I’d prefer to believe that she woke up thinking one or some or all of these:
I’ll try to be kinder today.
I’m not going to worry so much about where the money will come from.
I won’t be so impatient with Sister Maria when I see her.
I don’t want to write one more letter but I have to respond to the sisters in Jasper.
I wish I weren’t so distracted when I pray. I spend most of the prayer time thinking about a million other things.
Fact of the matter is I do believe one or some or all of these were part of her daily inner dialogue. I choose to believe this because unkindness, worry, impatience, resistance and distraction are part and parcel of my days. And believing this, I feel closer to her.
I feel her encouragement as I work at being my best — or at least better — self. She said, “Try to bear everything from others without making them bear anything from you.“
I feel inclined to talk with her about what’s worrying me, or making me happy or driving me crazy. “Another means for preserving the peace is to let little things pass without noticing them.”
In moments of frustration, I like to recall fragments from her letters that shine with Mother Theodore’s humanness. For example, Sister Maria (referenced earlier) received this rather crisp response from Mother Theodore. “You are very foolish, my dear Sister, to be tormenting your imagination with the fear of losing your mind. …Believe me, my daughter; we cannot lose what we never had.“
In moments of annoyance and crabbiness, I can hear Mother Theodore saying to me: “There are some among you who are like old Bouraux. This was a turkey-cock that got angry at the least thing. He did not have one good quarter of an hour during the day because he got mad at everything.”
Any old time, I love hearing from her. “No one will ever love you like your old Mother Theodore does.“