Sister Joan Mary Schaefer

Sister Joan Mary Schaefer passed away on Thursday, March 20, 2025, at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods, Indiana. She was 95-years-old and had been a Sister of Providence for 76 years.

Commentary

Written by Sister Ann Casper, SP

Reading: Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound’s the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

As one walks the hallways of Providence or Providence Health Care, even days after her death, one still expects to see Sister Joan Mary propelling her walker so as to appear nearly “flying” down the halls. Perhaps the words of Robert Frost’s poem were on her mind: “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep.” Or as her friend and former housemate Sister Carol Myers expressed it: “I always think of her as full of energy, the leader of the group … forward, march, full speed ahead, let’s get this done now. Her niece Kathleen even commented: “Aunt Mary was always ‘eat and run.’”

Another housemate of Joan Mary’s, Sister Editha, remembers her as a “minimalist.” “She was so simple in many ways, always grateful and she enjoyed life. She was practical and realistic.” How practical and realistic? She told her housemates at Guerin, “When I’m unable to climb the stairs to my room it’s time to go to the Woods,” and she did. Here, she visited the Sisters in health care regularly and loved to play cards, even when she was in hospital at Union Hospital!

Mary Ann Schaefer and her twin Joan were the fruit of William and Elizabeth Kostlevy’s marriage promises when they were born in Cicero, Illinois, on February 7, 1930, 95 years ago. Along with Joan, her other six siblings have all preceded her in death: A brother Arthur, and sisters Madeline, Antoinette, Dorothy, Margaret and Betty.

According to her dear friend Sister Maureen Sheahan, “For the last five or six years, Joan Mary has been asking God to take her home.” She would say, ‘No one in my family has ever lived this long Why am I still here?’

“She loved her family and they loved her, fondly calling her Aunt Mary or Aunt Mary-in-the-Convent when they got together to celebrate life’s milestones. I am told that the number of nephews, nieces, grandnephews and grandnieces goes on and on. When Joan Mary’s twin, Joan, and her husband Frank were out of town and Joan Mary was babysitting, Joan’s friends thought Joan Mary was Joan, but the family could always tell them apart.”

Her niece Mary, Joan’s daughter, recalls the time in St. Louis when her mother Joan traded clothes with Aunt Mary and Joan introduced Aunt Mary to the pastor as her twin, Joan. The pastor fell for it! Mary also recalls visiting Joan Mary in the hospital, whom they had never seen out of the full habit. The youngsters exclaimed in disbelief, “Aunt Mary has hair!”

Mary Ann attended Mary, Queen of Heaven grade school and afterwards encountered the Sisters of Providence for the first time at Providence High School in Chicago, graduating in 1947. A year later, on July 22, 1948, she entered the Congregation.

When three novices came from Maryhurst, a novitiate in Maryland, to join them in 1949, her band member Sister Jane Michael recalls, “We were welcomed with open arms! Our friendship lasted for more than 70 years. Sister Joan Mary kept us all going.” January 23 was the date of Joan Mary’s reception into the novitiate and of taking her first and perpetual vows, in 1949, 1951 and 1956, respectively.

Sister Joan Mary earned degrees in education: A bachelor’s degree from Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College and a master’s degree from Ball State University.

It was during her 76 years as a Sister of Providence that she kept many promises, beginning with her profession of the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Joan Mary loved being a Sister of Providence. Her day was not complete if she was not able to attend Mass and receive the Eucharist, in imitation of Mother Theodore’s strong devotion to both. Prior to Mass, one could always find Joan Mary in Church praying the rosary.

These promises were followed by all her years as a teacher, each year accepting her ministry assignment, and there were many! Her first nine years were spent with grades 1-4, in six different cities, in three different states.

She taught the middle grades for 38 years, as well as being assigned as principal on three different occasions. Many of her teaching assignments were for one year. Her years as principal were the longest, six years on two different occasions. All of these calculations led me to believe that Joan Mary was one very flexible and adaptable person, and at the same time, capable of staying the course in longer assignments.

And if that wasn’t enough to convince me of those virtues, I noted that she was a substitute teacher in the Chicago area parochial schools for 19 years, stopping only when she came home to retire in 2017! Definitely add to those earlier named virtues what had to be her grate love for children! In my mind, being a substitute teacher for that many years qualifies one for sainthood! “Her promises to keep and miles to go” turned into 66 years of ministry as a teacher and principal.

Her teaching also spilled over to the family where she helped homeschool many of them. One described her as wearing many hats and went on to elaborate: “She was my teacher growing up, my caretaker, often babysitting while my parents worked; she taught me the Catholic faith and the power of prayer. She was so full of love and hilarious at the same time. I learned form her not to take things too seriously or personally, and to realize that you can always start over in life. I will miss my favorite aunt, but not really, because I know she is with me every day, watching over me and that I can pray to her about anything.”

Kathleen, another niece who was homeschooled, described her as “very direct and to the point. There was no goofing off around Aunt Mary.” In later years she recalls her Aunt Mary always keeping in contact with all of them after retirement to the Woods: “You always answered when she called because you knew it would be short. If you could keep her on the phone for more than five minutes that was amazing. We always knew we could call her for intentions, for extra prayers. We know the power of all the prayers of the Sisters of Providence.”

Joan Mary loved to travel and literally put miles on the car. Every summer her band members would gather for Community meetings at the Woods. Sister Jane Michael from the East recalled always staying where her band members were and then visiting throughout the Midwest after the meetings. Some of them would then travel t Boston, “saving” California for their Golden Jubilee trip.

As I mentioned, Joan Mary retired to the Woods in 2017 and when you live at the Woods, the hallways easily turn into miles, it seems. She served another eight years in residential services as a regular volunteer, especially in the Providence phone room.

Sister Maureen added: “Joan Mary’s friends, whether in Community or not, were very special to her and she to them. She was a real person. She stood with them in good times and bad days. In sickness and in health, she was there praying for them and those they held dear. It could have been her band members, SPs, teachers she trained and supported, or parents she listened to and encouraged. Whatever, she was there for them and they were there for her.”

Perhaps that is the answer to Joan Mary’s own questions, “Why am I still here?” Her presence among us was indeed a gift and a manifestation of God’s love, simplicity, generosity and kindness.

She has now kept all her promises and completed her earthly journey of many miles. On March 20, very peacefully and quietly, she heard God’s promise fulfilled for her: “Well done, my good and faithful servant … Come, share your master’s joy.”

Funeral Information

Funeral services for Sister Joan Mary took place on Friday, March 28, and Saturday, March 29, at the Church of the Immaculate Conception at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods.

A Wake took place from 2:30-4:30 p.m., on Friday, March 28. Mass of Christian Burial was at 11 a.m., on Saturday, March 29.

Memorial contributions may be made in honor of Sister Joan Mary to the Sisters of Providence of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods.

We welcome you to share your memories of Sister Joan Mary in the comment section below.

Sister Joan Mary Schaefer

Complete Ministry

In Massachusetts: Teacher, St. Patrick, Stoneham (1951).

In Indiana: Teacher, St. Ann, New Castle (1951-53); Teacher, St. John the Baptist, Fort Wayne (1953-54); Teacher, St. Mary, Richmond (1954-55); Teacher, St. John, Indianapolis (1956-59); Teacher, St. Mary, Lafayette (1960-65); Teacher/Principal, All Saints, Hammond (1965-66); Teacher, St. Joseph, Hammond (1966-67); Teacher, St. Peter, Linton (967-68); Residential Services, Saint Mary-of-the-Woods (2017-2025).

In Illinois: Teacher, St. Genevieve, Chicago (1959-60); Teacher, Our Lady of Sorrows, Chicago (1968-69); Principal, Immaculate Conception, Chicago (1975-89); Teacher, St. Francis Borgia School, Chicago (1990-92); Teacher, Providence-St. Mel School, Chicago (1992-98); Substitute Teacher, Chicago area (1998-2008); Substitute Teacher/Home School Teacher, Chicago area (2008-2015); Substitute Teacher, Providence-St. Mel, Chicago (2015-16); Substitute Teacher, Guerin College Preparatory High School, River Grove (2015-17); Convent Service, River Grove (2015-17).

In Missouri: Principal, Our Lady of Providence, St. Louis (1969-75).