Self-Care During Difficult Times

Note: The following piece was authored by Providence Associates Jane Fischer and Pearlette Springer.

“Take care!” is often a concluding remark, another form of goodbye, so long, or see you later. But when someone says “Take care of yourself!” the remark moves from a short declarative sentence to the imperative. Now we have a responsibility to carry out, and that is where we find ourselves in this post-election period regardless of our politics.  

So how do we “take care of ourselves?” 

A ‘Buzzword?’

Self-care may seem like a trendy buzzword, but the concept of self-care has existed for quite a while now. Many principles and guidelines surround self-care. We often hear and read about the importance of taking care of ourselves nutritionally. There are numerous commercials, ads, and articles highlighting the benefits of fruits, vegetables, protein, smoothies, and the need to limit sugar intake. We have access to pedometers, smart watches, walking trails, and exercise classes to help us stay physically fit. Indeed, nutrition, exercise, and rest are all essential aspects of self-care. However, let’s take a moment to focus on other aspects of our well-being that are often overlooked, which may be just as important, if not more so.

Examining “The Beatitudes,” we can see that since Jesus Christ, we have been instructed to live a life filled with self-care and kindness. According to Britannica, beatitudes can be defined as “blessed are.” The beatitudes describe the blessedness of those with certain qualities or experiences to those belonging to the kingdom of heaven. In this newsletter, we share some of the words of Sister Marie McCarthy, a Sister of Providence. Sister Marie discusses the importance of hope and how it plays a crucial role in grief and transformation. The words of Dr. Peter Sidebotham, Professor Emeritus of the University of Warwick, explain the relationship between Beatitudes 1, 2, 8 and hope. The term “beatitude” comes from the Latin root “beatus,” which means “happy.” Therefore, as we connect hope with the Beatitudes, let us focus on the happiness that awaits us.

Overlooked Part

Hope is part of self-care that is often overlooked. This next section is taken from a workshop that Sister Marie McCarthy, SP gave on Grief and Transformation:

“I want to share some of my own experiences of hope with you – and some of the ways and places I have found it.  Hopefully, doing so may both stir the deep hope in you and also help you to discover more fully what grounds and cultivates that hope for you.

Hope, I find, is not an easy virtue. It is a scrappy virtue. One writer describes hope as the fuel we need to continue forward … Hope is a choice, a verb an action we can pursue.

And hope is hard won. I am not talking about some sweet softness in a world without troubles. We need hope for hard times and for real worlds – worlds that are troubled by war and poverty and hate and violence – worlds that seem to be spinning out of control. We need hope in this world– a sturdy, strong hope that doesn’t flinch from the realities around us but that can see all these realities in the light of the transformative action of Love.  This is the kind of hope we are needing –– and it is a hard-won hope.

Ever-Evolving

For myself, I have found that grounding in the awesome reality of our ever-unfolding and evolving universe and in the laws or patterns of that evolving. Here’s some of what we might learn from the Universe Story: We are in the midst of an ever-unfolding, ever-evolving Cosmos –  a Cosmogenesis, a Cosmos that is always coming to birth.  The Cosmos is in a continuous process of growing and becoming. Energy is the heart of this reality – more fundamental and basic than any matter.  And relationship is the most fundamental power in the Universe.

The energy of the Cosmos draws all things together into relationship, and it is out of these relationships that everything comes to be – including ourselves. The Cosmos is always in the process of loving – drawing things into relationship. And we are not separate from all of this when looking at it. We are fully enveloped within this process.    

For myself, I have come to understand (or sit inside) this energy in this way: God ~ the Holy One is Love ~ a Love that permeates and enlivens all that is ~ God, for me, is the energy of Love that moves the Cosmos ~ and this God who is the energy of Love is always evolving, always unfolding, always drawing all things into ever fuller relationship.  

Hope

This is the story we are part of and embedded in. And it is a great big story that can provide the deep grounding for hope.  It sure does for me. Let’s stop for just a moment to consider:

            How big is your hope?

            What does it rest upon?

            What’s the great big story that grounds your hope?

So with the Universe Story as a container for us, let’s turn to the question: What does grief [sadness, struggling] have to do with it? We cultivate hope by giving ourselves to the path of transformation and that path always, always, always involves loss and grief. Grief is the catalyst of transformation. The process of transformation is the very process of hope unfolding.

And we get there together – in community – traveling together with one another. As the poet Rumi puts it, “We’re all just walking each other home.”

Where can we find real hope in these dark days? In the experience of a community that lives the Gospel and encourages and sustains each other. Every act of love and care, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, sends out the energy of love and hope into our world. And it makes a real difference. So, let’s not despair. Let’s love and then do what we will. Let’s live the Gospel out loud with our very lives. Let’s be the presence of Providence in our world and a song of Hope that reaches to the ends of Earth.” Living the Gospel of Hope, Sister Marie McCarthy, 1/13/2021.

Dr. Peter Sidebotham says that Beatitudes 1, 2, and 8 offer “a promise of hope to those who are victims – of suffering, violence, and greed.” Dr. Sidebotham goes on to say, “In speaking to those who are poor in spirit, those who mourn, and those who are persecuted, Jesus seems to be speaking directly to those who are the victims of suffering, violence, and greed.”  His writing in The Beatitudes: The Promise and the Praxis of Hope (December 8, 2016) states the following:  

• Beatitude #1: The poor in spirit are “broken, crushed, weighed down; the victims of abuse, those who have had their spirits trampled on, who have been fed the lie that they are worthless, unloved and unlovable; those suffering with mental illness, depression or fatigue; those who are lonely, hurt by broken relationships; the disabled, the homeless, those with addictions; those rejected by society as somehow unworthy.
• Beatitude #2: Blessed are those who mourn: “the grieving, those who have lost loved ones; those who mourn the loss of their own innocence; those suffering from physical illness; those who have lost their homes or possessions; those made redundant or who have lost a sense of their own purpose or significance in life.”
• Beatitude #8: Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness (justice) sake: “the innocent victims of violence and war; the displaced, refugees; those who are unjustly exploited or oppressed; the victims of racism or other prejudices.”

Dr. Sidebotham states that “If we see the Beatitudes as holding out a very real promise of hope for victims, and a very pragmatic challenge for the rest of us, they start to carry a very different meaning.”  

“And to all of these, Jesus seems to proclaim the promise of a future hope: that their present lot is not the last word: 

• for theirs is the kingdom of heaven; 
• they will be comforted; 
• they will be filled; they will laugh.”