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Note: The following was authored by Providence Associate, Dr. Pearlette Springer
“Tune my heart according to your will. Tune my heart according to your will. Oh, Lord, tune my heart only according to your will.” — Steven Warner
Over the years, the Pew Research Center has published several articles to document statistics and experiences of people within the LGBTQ communities and the general population.
Most recently, the Pew Research Center published its findings on the comfort level of parents if they, hypothetically speaking, had a child who was gay. The results are based on responses from 15 middle-income countries, where the population is primarily composed of people of color. The researchers found that only in one country the people express more comfort than uncomfort if they had a gay child. That result is both amazing and very disappointing.
How can you not be comfortable with your child?
To help us approach this emotionally charged topic of being Catholic and Gay, let us first begin by looking at language, terminology in particular. LGBTQ, for example, means lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer. The definitions and other common terms used in describing people within the LGBTQ community are:
Androgynous – partly male and partly female in appearance,
Bisexual – a person experiences romantic, emotional or sexual attraction to both men and women,
Cisgender – a person whose internal sense of gender aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth,
Dyke – refers to two different concepts. It is a slur against masculine or androgynous lesbians. Within the LGBTQ community, it is used to signify assertiveness, radicalism, or to recognize a non-conforming gender presentation,
Gay – describes an individual who is primarily attracted to people of the same gender,
Gender Identity – the internal sense of who you are. It is a part of your sense of self. It is how you understand who you are and how you interact with others,
Lesbian – a woman or nonbinary person whose sexual or emotional attraction is primarily to other women,
Queer – a term that encompasses a wide range of identities and expressions of those who don’t fit neatly into a specific LGBTQ category,
Nonbinary – refers to a gender identity that falls outside of the traditional male or female binary. In other words, the individual does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman,
Sexual Orientation – a person’s identity in relation to the gender to which they are sexually attracted,
SOGIE – stands for Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and gender Expression. It acknowledges the diverse ways an individual understands and expresses their sexuality and gender, and
Transgender – a person whose internal sense of being a man, woman or something else is different from the sex they were assigned at birth.
Creating Just Language
In the book Creating Just Language, published by the 8th Day Center for Justice, Ann Bukhardt explains the impact of oppressive language. She states, “Oppressive language is not oppressive because it offends someone. It is oppressive because slurs and casual belittling draw upon poser dynamics that already exist … casual slur, even when not intended to be offensive, can trigger reminders of unequal status in society, of past violence, of difference (or indifference), and not belonging.”
The words that we use can be powerful and soothing. After all, it was the Word that brought us to light and salvation. It was language, the word and breath of God, that brought humanity into being. Yet, at the same time, we must not forget that our use of language, words, can also be inflammatory, hurtful and deflating. We need to recognize the profound impact of the language we use and fully understand how it affects others.
Being Catholic and Gay is similar to being Catholic and Black. They are both marginalized groups in the Catholic Church who have formed Catholic communities and Catholic organizations in order to fully embrace the faith and to feel welcomed, respected, and loved. A couple of Catholic and Gay organizations that come to mind are Dignity USA and New Ways Ministry. The most prominent Catholic and Gay voices are Fr. James Martin, SJ and Fr. Bryan Massengale. While Fr. Bryan Massengale travels to Africa, Europe, and the United States giving talks on moral theology, gay and catholic, and racism, Fr. James Martin has started a podcast, appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and participated in the Synod discussions in Rome.
Father James Martin, a Jesuit priest known for his outreach to LGBTQ+ Catholics, asked Pope Francis in 2022 three questions regarding the LGBTQ+ community –– What is the most important thing for LGBTQ people to know about God; What would Pope Francis like LGBTQ people to know about the Church; and What would Pope Francis say to an LGBTQ Catholic who has experienced rejection from the Church?
Pope Francis’ response was, “God is Father and he (Pope Francis) does not disown any of his children,” according to Vatican News. Pope Francis emphasized God’s “closeness, mercy and tenderness” as the path to finding God. He (Pope Francis) encouraged them (LGBTQ people) to “read the book of the Acts of the Apostles” to find an image of the living Church. Pope Francis advised them to recognize it [the experience of rejection] “not as ‘the rejection of the church,’ but instead ‘of people in the church.” He (Pope Francis) reiterated that the Church is a mother who welcomes all her children and that a “selective” church is a sect, not Holy Mother Church.
The Synod
The Synod on Synodality was initiated by Pope Francis in 2021. It was a multi-year process of the worldwide Catholic Church to listen, discern, and foster a great journey together to renew the church’s mission. The Synod process was and is designed to foster a more collaborative and inclusive environment with an emphasis on listening to the experiences of all the faithful. However, controversial issues, such as LGBTQ issues, were taken off the table and placed in study groups. The study groups have until December 31, 2025 to submit their final results to the Secretariat of the Synod.
The Catholic Church
The catechism of the Catholic Church states that homosexual acts are intrinsically immoral, though it does not consider homosexual orientation itself to be sinful. The Church doctrine does not view the inclination toward same-sex attraction as sinful and emphasizes that LGBTQ individuals should be treated with respect and sensitivity. In December 2023, Pope Francis approved the blessings of same sex couples with the Declaration Fiducia Supplicans on the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings.
On May 8, 2025, Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost became Pope Leo XIV. Pope Leo XIV has supported Pope Francis in the continuation of the policy of blessing same-sex couples. However, he has expressed concern about the positive portrayal of the “homosexual lifestyle” and “alternative families comprised of same sex partners and their adopted children in Western media”. In 2023, he indicated that “many things have changed” and that the church should be “more welcoming and more open”. He also feels there is a need for the national bishops’ conferences to interpret guidance on blessings for same-sex couples within their local cultural context, acknowledging differences in social attitudes and legal frameworks regarding homosexuality.
Call to Action
A Reflective Exercise
Now that you are aware of the definitions and recognize that language can be powerful and soothing, while at the same time being inflammatory, hurtful, and deflating, how do these terms make you feel?
(Use the following to express your feelings: I Feel Positive; I Feel Negative; I Feel Neutral; I am Comfortable; I am Uncomfortable)
Blessed are you gay lesbian bisexual transgender straight sister or brother, you are a unique and glorious reflection of God’s astounding creativity and love!
Blessed are you when you dare to bring the truth of who you are into a loving relationship with others you heal and strengthen the Body of Christ!
Blessed are you who challenge stereotypes and caricatures you bring light to the world!
Blessed are you who speak out against religious hypocrisy you help to birth justice and peace!
Blessed are you when you work for full equality and inclusion you honor the sacredness of all people!
Blessed are you when you create new kinds of families formed by love rather than by law you live the truth that all God’s people are one family!
Blessed are you who seek to worship in spirit and in truth whose prayer arises from humble hearts; the Spirit of Holiness will inspire and guide you!
Blessed are you who offer comfort to the dying, healing to the sick food to the hungry housing to the homeless presence to the lonely hope to the hopeless you are the Gospel the Good News our aching world so desperately needs to know!
Blessed are you reviled and persecuted yet persistent in faith, hope and love! Rejoice and be proud for in you God’s love is revealed!
The Sisters of Providence of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods, Indiana, are a congregation of Roman Catholic women religious (sisters) who minister throughout the United States and Taiwan. Saint Mother Theodore Guerin founded the Sisters of Providence in 1840. The congregation has a mission of being God's Providence in the world by committing to performing works of love, mercy and justice in service among God's people.
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There’s a mistake in your “Catholic and Gay” vocabulary list. It says that “dyke” is a sur, when it should be slur. Thought you’d want to know.
Thank you for pointing this out. It has been edited.