Prayer poem: heaviness of war

dear God
all that is on my mind is heavy
it is the war that has brought me down
below what I can usually cope with

i have so many whys …
why is he getting away with this
why are our powerful governments not stopping him
why is meaningless loss of innocent life allowed
why don’t you stop it
why am i so powerless to help

i have so many whats and whens …
what is the meaning of their deaths when so undeserved
what will the world turn into now when we no longer protect the weak
what can i do when i am so far away and my voice is meaningless to those with the guns …
and i am not strong enough physically to fight them
what will be left when the fighting stops

and i have hows …
how can i save them
how could you let this happen
how many dying are begging for your help
how many weeping your name
how can you not intervene
or … how can you
can you do anything through me, if so, i am here
can you tell me what to do, if so, i listen
if no other questions are answered than at least this one…
as your faithful tool in this world, what of you
should speak through me … or what can you take from me
to use in their defense?
i am yours.

i cannot say amen
this prayer will last, and i am open
until this invasion’s end