Celebrating Grandparents’ Day

The first Grandparents’ Day, proclaimed by Governor Arch Moore of West Virginia, was celebrated in 1973 due to the valiant efforts of Marian McQuade.

She spearheaded a three-year campaign to honor grandparents in this nation.

In 1978, the United States Congress passed legislation proclaiming the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents’ Day.

Going to Grandma’s House

When I was a child, my older brother Jim and I would take turns spending a weekend at Grandma Butler’s house. I still remember the upstairs apartment with its tiny kitchen, eating Velveeta cheese and my grandma’s wonderful cooking.

The living room was large and I especially remember her rocking chair. She would rent out one bedroom to a student in beauty school.

The dining room contained a sewing machine where grandma made doll clothes for me. Because I lived in the Catholic Cemetery, when the flower arrangements were taken off the graves, I would save some of the ribbon. That ribbon and other scraps of cloth would be turned into my custom-made dolls’ clothes.

The dining room table was where we played numerous games of Sorry, dominoes, checkers and marble games.

Overcoming Tragedy

When my mother died in 1953, my brother Jim was 18. I was 12-years-old and my brother Steve was only 6. My grandmother at age 79 moved in with us to help my father take care of us.

She knew what it was like to be without a parent because her mother died at the age of 38. This is the same age my mother died. Like me, she was just 12-years-old when her mother died. She was then adopted by another family.

Grandma cooked our meals, did the laundry on a ringer-type washer in the basement and then carried it upstairs and hung it outside on the clothesline. There were no electric dryers then. When I was home, I would help her do this.

She ironed our clothes. When our chores were done, she would sit in her large rocking chair with her rosary and prayer book. She was a woman of deep faith.

How I now appreciate the sacrifices she made, leaving her apartment and taking on the many tasks of caring for our family.

Her husband, my grandfather, had died in 1933 before I was born so I never met him. I so regret I never asked her to tell me about him.

Family History

What I do know is that he was a professional gardener, born in Balleyragget, County Kilkenny, Ireland. After moving to the United States, he married my grandmother in 1891.

Two years after they were married, he became the first Superintendent of the Catholic Cemetery in Fort Wayne and they lived in the first house built there.

While he was superintendent, there was financial difficulty in the diocese. Because he cared for his workers, he sometimes paid them out of his own pocket.

On their wedding day, my grandfather gave my grandmother a large family bible. I don’t know if that was an Irish custom or simply his choice. Knowing this and knowing my grandmother’s deep faith, I believe that he was also a person of deep faith.

That faith was sorely tested. They had 10 children. All four girls died; some were still born and some may have lived a few minutes. They had six boys; one of them died at age 2 and another at age 26. I can’t imagine enduring that much grief.

A ‘Deep’ Faith

That deep faith was passed on to my father and influenced our family life. I sense both of my grandparents had some of those same qualities I admired in my dad. So while I never met my grandfather, I feel a deep spiritual connection to him and look forward to meeting him in heaven.

For my silver jubilee prayer service, grateful for the faith that passed down to me, I used that family bible as part of the décor.

I still have cousins who live in Balleyragget, Ireland. Without knowing my feeling of connection to my grandfather, a few years ago they sent me a picture of the church where my grandfather was baptized. It means so much to me. They still attend that church.

I write this today to honor my amazing grandparents, Thomas and Flora Oles Butler. There are so many questions I regret not asking my grandmother.

I write this to encourage you to express your appreciation and ask questions about your grandparents’ and other relatives’ life experiences before it is too late.